Being kind to yourself

 © Jasmine Irving
© Jasmine Irving

Recent mornings have brought a world that was starting to look a little bleak. This made the spring in my step slump into retreat.

Whether physical or emotional, when something doesn’t feel quite right there are many quick-fix solutions in modern life. They’ll cover up the problem in the short-term but it goes without saying that the root of any problem needs fixing to ensure there will be no unnecessary long-term consequences or the problem rearing its ugly head again when you least expect it. This is why I have been looking into a more holistic approach to health than the options that have been suggested (or not suggested) by western medicine.

Alongside quick fix solutions, readily-available distractions lie in abundance. Everywhere we turn there is something to distract us from the problem at hand. More times than not, when I’m at a loss of what to do and can’t seem to tame the unsettled, nagging feeling inside begging for attention, I ignore it. Or I get really angry at it. Rather than sitting myself down and having a poke around my head and breathing into my body to locate any areas of discomfort, so I can discover the problem and find a solution, I’ll just convince myself that nothing can be done anyway and that the stupid feeling should just shut up and go away!

Consequently I sit wasting hours and hours distracting myself, with negative thought processes, trawling through the internet, and of course the all-consuming facebook. It’s amazing how long you can spend doing nothing on there whilst under the illusion that you’re ‘communicating’ with people, ‘catching up’. What happened to scented letters? Or sharing printed photographs of distant travels with loved ones whom you have returned to? Okay, so this is an idealistic view but you get my point. Having everything there at the tip of your fingers kind of takes away from the value it had in the first place. But of course, here I am using the big wide web for this blog so it has its uses.

I feel its important to remember the need for checking up on yourself, reflecting and being kind to yourself. This allows you to be the best you that you can possibly be so that you can go out there and have the most positive impact on the rest of the world that you can possibly have. However, despite my firm belief in how the recognition of the good in yourself, in order to nurture this good and let it grow and spread, allows us to see the good in everybody, sometimes it’s not so easy to be nice to yourself. Especially when a western way of life teaches us to always want more than ourselves, and that ourselves are not good enough until we have obtained more, more, more, always more. But of course there is no end point where it all fits into place and you have achieved the dream, its just an endless chain of trying to fill a void then it doesn’t quite work so more needs to be done (or purchased). This is why adverts make me feel drained.

Anyway, what IS achievable and worthwhile is compassion – small and big acts of kindness in everyday life. Of course, this is what really keeps the world ticking over, and keeps people truly happy. Every act of kindness has to start somewhere and where better than from the place it is to come from? You, me, us, humanity, the universe.

Health, physical and mental, needs to be looked after not only by positive lifestyle choices and diet but just as importantly, by outlook and focusing on self-nurture, recognising your own self-worth. Everyone knows stress can be the main culprit for a very long list of health problems and most people have heard the saying “sound body, sound mind.” We must extend a helping hand, not just to others but to ourselves as well.

So, this is my written agreement with myself to promise to try and stay positive at all costs. Even though it can feel like everything I try and do to be healthy again and bounce back from illness, doesn’t seem to be working, I must be patient and allow time to do the healing. I will show compassion for my body rather than getting angry at it for not doing what I feel its supposed to.

And in the mean time, there are plenty of things I can do to try and keep happy, as healthy as possible and stress-free.

What makes you smile when there’s an obstacle in the way? (Be that obstacle tiny or huge)

 © Jasmine Irving
© Jasmine Irving
Love Life, why aye!!
Love Life, why aye!!

3 thoughts on “Being kind to yourself

  1. Music is my go-to when I feel low, particularly Dire Straits’ ‘Walk of Life’ – you can’t fail to smile when that keyboard riff kicks in. (Try it! 🙂 ) Of course, I also ‘write it out’, then get myself into situations years down the line where I have to destroy these notebooks. That’s less fun.

    Take care,


  2. I go with mindfulness – just empty your head and listen to the birds, the dishwashing bubbles, the onions frying etc. and fill your head with that – a good break from negative thoughts!

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